Jun 14 2007
How do you deal with a mother who doesn’t care about you?
kttlwistl asked:
I live 3500 miles away from home and it is for many reasons but the one that stands out is I cannot stand my mother. Now I know that she gave me life and I should respect her and all that jazz. But how do you respect someone who gave you life and couldn’t give 2 craps if you lived it greatly or in the gutter. Christmas 2007 she comes to visit for the holidays claiming it was to see her grand kids, (my 2 daughters), and it was all about spending time with them. At the time I was helping my brother out by letting him stay here so he could try and get on his feet. When she got here it was straight to my brothers room and not a sound out of her all night. She didn’t even have the decency to say hi to my wife and kids. She brought 2 big suitcases with her and I offered to put them away in my huge walk-in closet during her stay and she wouldn’t hear of it. She insisted on putting them in my brothers closet that was already full of my brothers stuff. She refused to eat christmas dinner with us saying that the ham we got was spoiled because it had been in the fridge, (it was a precooked ham). and then when we were opening presents for the girls not one gift from her for anyone. She didn’t even take out her camera and take pictures of us opening gifts or anything. But she took pictures of all kinds of scenery when she was out with my brother and his friends. This has been going on my whole life and it has never been changed. I decided that it was the final straw and cut all ties with my mother. She was not going to do to my girls what she had done to me all her life. Since making that decision she has gotten a hold of a picture of my father I left at someones house when I lived back in my hometown without my knowledge, (my father is deceased). And she refuses to give it back. She doesn’t want anything for it she just doesn’t want to give it to me even though it is rightfully mine. Once again I am stuck dealing with this crap from her. It is the only picture of my father I have and I am not willing to let it go. What should I do?
Ken; Thank you for the Kind words and the extension of kindess through Jesus. You are right in everything you say about believing in Him. I am a man of Faith and He has carried me through this rough time in my life. But I was concerned on how to get my picture of my father back more than I was concerned about healing. I know I will never have a relationship with my mother and I have accepted that. But for her to take what is mine is crossing the line in my eyes.
General: I cannot get the picture back through my brother because he feels that I have turned my back on my mother, (he did not feel this way until moving back into her house…hhhmmm). So that option is out.
I live 3500 miles away from home and it is for many reasons but the one that stands out is I cannot stand my mother. Now I know that she gave me life and I should respect her and all that jazz. But how do you respect someone who gave you life and couldn’t give 2 craps if you lived it greatly or in the gutter. Christmas 2007 she comes to visit for the holidays claiming it was to see her grand kids, (my 2 daughters), and it was all about spending time with them. At the time I was helping my brother out by letting him stay here so he could try and get on his feet. When she got here it was straight to my brothers room and not a sound out of her all night. She didn’t even have the decency to say hi to my wife and kids. She brought 2 big suitcases with her and I offered to put them away in my huge walk-in closet during her stay and she wouldn’t hear of it. She insisted on putting them in my brothers closet that was already full of my brothers stuff. She refused to eat christmas dinner with us saying that the ham we got was spoiled because it had been in the fridge, (it was a precooked ham). and then when we were opening presents for the girls not one gift from her for anyone. She didn’t even take out her camera and take pictures of us opening gifts or anything. But she took pictures of all kinds of scenery when she was out with my brother and his friends. This has been going on my whole life and it has never been changed. I decided that it was the final straw and cut all ties with my mother. She was not going to do to my girls what she had done to me all her life. Since making that decision she has gotten a hold of a picture of my father I left at someones house when I lived back in my hometown without my knowledge, (my father is deceased). And she refuses to give it back. She doesn’t want anything for it she just doesn’t want to give it to me even though it is rightfully mine. Once again I am stuck dealing with this crap from her. It is the only picture of my father I have and I am not willing to let it go. What should I do?
Ken; Thank you for the Kind words and the extension of kindess through Jesus. You are right in everything you say about believing in Him. I am a man of Faith and He has carried me through this rough time in my life. But I was concerned on how to get my picture of my father back more than I was concerned about healing. I know I will never have a relationship with my mother and I have accepted that. But for her to take what is mine is crossing the line in my eyes.
General: I cannot get the picture back through my brother because he feels that I have turned my back on my mother, (he did not feel this way until moving back into her house…hhhmmm). So that option is out.
I go to school and I am majoring in Psychology and Sociology and when I graduate I plan to work with troubled and abused kids and go back for my Master’s once my kids are in school…My husband and I were also foster parents before having our own kids…I’m thinking of fostering again but waiting for my kids to be a little bigger…